Ever notice everyone’s on a low fat diet after the heart attack? Everyone
has time for their kids after the divorce. Everyone’s a financial genius
after a bankruptcy?
(article continued below ...)
As managers, supervisors and executives, we’re trained to judge our
success on the size of our departments, budgets, sales, profits, bank
accounts and the deals we make. When I had my own $50 million-a-year
business, that’s what I thought, too. Being a successful CEO, I figured if I
just worked hard enough, I’d wind up on top. Failure is something that
happens to the other guys.
That’s when it happened to me. I lost everything. Everything I thought
was important.
Money, power, prestige. Gone. My position as CEO? Gone, too.
Although I didn’t know it then, I had been given a gift. A “Gift of
Desperation” that changed me and my outlook for the better. In the end, it
made me a more successful person, too.
We can all recognize a “Gift of Desperation”. It’s the “a-ha” that comes
at the darkest of times. Speak with anyone who has had a life-changing
experience, and they’ll tell you how much it has led them to appreciate each
and every day. They have a higher sense of awareness and focus on living
each day with joy.
Still need convincing? Look how our country pulled together after
9-11-01. People actually started talking, connecting--and not just our
friends and family, but strangers on the news or at the corner store. I had
clients all over the country remarking something like this: “I never really
appreciated just how important (blank) was, until now,” they’d say. The way
that (blank) got filled in varied from person to person, and organization to
organization, but suddenly I could tell they had begun to notice that there
was more to life than profits and possessions. The horror of that experience
became a gift to many who chose to see the lessons.
When I received my “Gift of Desperation” I began to notice, FINALLY,
something was missing in my life. It wasn’t success that was missing. It was
significance.
Most CEOs have the same symptoms I did: We have a gorgeous house, but are
hardly around to enjoy it. We eat at private lunch clubs, but we’re still
hungry inside. Our expensive watches can’t keep our time from slipping away.
We have kids, but we may never really appreciate them. I didn’t,
either--until involuntary unemployment kept me home instead of frantic and
at the office. “Pick me up, Daddy!” my three-year-old son kept saying. “It’s
good for you.” Now how did he know that? But you know what, he was right.
Here I had been rushing, rushing, rushing--because I needed everything to
be perfect. And then I would finally get back to my family and friends. I
just needed to get all my ducks in a row. People have you ever tried to get
duck in a row? I finally realized that I had to stop waiting for my life to
get perfect to be happy.
Over time, the life I could never quite find seemed to fall right into my
lap. In business, so often we’re taught to CYA. Well, I started my own
version:
Change Your Attitude.
Today I work with people and organizations who are trying to change their
attitude and behavior. Many of them, facing their own periods of
desperation, are wondering if they will ever recover. They will with a
change of focus.
I’ve discovered that we can all change our lives dramatically for the
better--and we can do it before the gift of desperation. It takes a new
sense of focus, and it also takes acting on a few new thoughts:
Start each day with an awareness that you are here for a purpose other
than to satisfy demands to add stuff to your life.
I do this with a few
morning minutes of meditation and prayer. Other people read a book or take a
walk. After a while, you’ll find your own path to peace and self-awareness.
Make serving others a primary focus. Help someone in your office be more
successful. Hold the door for someone. Start a mentoring program, be a big
brother or sister, or call a local volunteering program. Slow down. I was
always so busy pushing for the next big break that sometimes I ran right
past it. So take a few minutes to take a deep breath, step back and enjoy
life a bit, and you’ll be surprised how many opportunities personally and
professionally just show up. Start now. You don’t have to remake your whole
life overnight. Small changes when practiced consistently will create
dramatic results. Remember, you’re choosing to act--before a "Gift of
Desperation" is forced on you. Keep at it and soon you will look back and be
amazed how far you’ve come, and so will your co-workers and loved ones. And
while I may believe in deathbed conversions, acting ahead of time is a whole
lot more satisfying.
There’s nothing magical about these actions. The results, however, from
even small consistent actions can be phenomenal, because not only will you
feel better about yourself, but often your professional life will take off,
too.
One Christmas, a group of businesses in Alexandria, Va., got together and
repaid money stolen from a Salvation Army. The cost per business was about
$500, but the value to the community they served was a hundred times that
amount. Managers and employees got out of their offices they began to see
each other in a new light. They donated time and distributed toys. These
actions began to create a lot of goodwill and press in the community. In the
long run I noticed how much their good works changed the companies involved.
Morale went right through the roof. Productivity and profits went up as
well. I know from experience this wasn’t a coincidence.
The action taken, willingness to help, and focus on service connected
these companies, their employees, and the community in a way that far
outweighed the financial costs.
In fact, smart companies are increasingly using corporate giving as a
marketing tool. According to a study published in Business Week, two-thirds
of consumers would switch to a product or retailer that supported a cause
they believed in. Likewise, employees of companies that promote good causes
are likely to feel a strong sense of loyalty to their employer.
It’s no secret that high-profile corporate ethics scandals have rocked
the market and hurt companies large and small. In hard times, it’s only
natural to turn first to reducing charitable contributions and employee
benefits--and the newspapers are full of depressing stories of cutbacks and
givebacks.
Instead of following the crowd, think of the positive public attention
you can get by increasing your community involvement and awareness. Downward
economies don’t last forever, but the public’s memory of a good corporate
citizen often does. Sometimes it doesn’t even take money, just the
willingness to show up and help.
Positively motivated people will deliver to the bottom line faster than
new technology and a slick mission statement, and nothing will motive people
faster than feeling the company they work for sees them and their community
as significant.
Change your own focus, and it’s likely you’ll also change the way your
business works.
Order John’s new book:
“The
Daily Six – Six Simple Steps to Find the Perfect Balance Between Prosperity
and Purpose”. Order now or pick up at your favorite
bookstore. Published by: Penguin/Putnam.
John Chappelear is an: author, motivational speaker, executive coach, and
trainer. He lives in Florida and is grateful for his wonderful family. He is the founder of Changing the Focus, LLC. For more information, visit
the web site: www.changingthefocus.com or send an e-mail to: john@changingthefocus.com.
September 2005
|